THE PSYCHOLOGY OF HOPE by C.R. Snyder

Author:C.R. Snyder
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: THE FREE PRESS
Published: 2003-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Barrier Beaters

One common low-willpower reaction to impediments involves a surprise thought such as, oh my god, this can’t be happening! This sort of thought propels the person into an aversive emotional turmoil. If you find yourself constantly being surprised by the barriers you encounter, realize that life throws impediments in all of our paths. So, don’t wallow in self-pity and assume that you alone come on such obstacles. Such self-talk as OK, this happens to everyone, I’m not the only person to run onto this roadblock, and other such consensus-raising statements can be very helpful. 35

Beyond normalizing the fact that you are encountering barriers, the next step is to stop being surprised by these situations. In working with people, I suggest that one does not always have to be the naive victim of impediments. In other words, take some time to see if there is a pattern to those surprise roadblocks in your life. Granted that there are instances in life where we cannot foresee the upcoming problems, I believe that most of the time we are far better at anticipating difficulties than we realize. In this slippery road ahead exercise, imagine you are traveling down a road that represents your future. It is your job to put up precautionary signs in your mind for those places where you encounter difficulties. The importance of this exercise is that you can anticipate problems; the more anticipation, the more likely you are to travel these bumpy roads more effectively.

So, now you are thinking more in terms of impediments visiting all of us, and you have begun to anticipate where in your life such problems arise. But suppose that you still get a rush of unpleasant emotions when confronted with a blockage of some sort. This is where you can use the talking heads dialogue described in the previous section to give yourself some instructions. In other words, you talk to yourself about how to regulate this emotionality. 36 Some helpful things to say to yourself include: OK, now relax and clear your mind; take a few deep breaths; or, I am very upset, but I am in control. Don’t lose all of your emotional rush, however, because you can harness it to your advantage by saying I’m up for this, or When things get tough, I get going. Finally, think of these roadblock-laden situations as challenges that provide a good test of your resolve.

One of the ways to rekindle willful thinking is to recall your previous successes. The essence of the past push exercise is to recall former instances where you had the willpower to move toward your goals when facing obstacles. These memories, especially if they are vivid, activate our willful thinking in the present situation. The focus of these memories can be one of two general types: First, you may bring back a similar circumstance from your past where you were able to marshal the willpower to cope with a problem. This can lead to such thoughts as, well, if

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